Tuesday, January 20, 2009

An Open Letter to Bret Michael

Dear Bret,

I have enjoyed Rock of Love 1, 2 and now Bus. I love the fact that you are from Pittsburgh, and I appreciate how hard it is for you to find true love being a Rock Star. But let’s be honest here, you aren’t really looking for someone to be your wife anymore. I seriously believed you in Rock of Love 2, Ambre was the perfect girl for you (and you almost dumped her on day one). I wish she didn’t want a career for herself because I could see you two together, forever. But after episode 3 of Bus, I question your motives. At first I was willing to forgive you for all the silicone you kept on the Bus, I just figured you might want to use them as air bags in case of a bus accident. And you even kicked off the girl who had plastic surgery to look like Daisy in the first round—you were so on the right track. But taking your girls to a strip club on a first date? Come on! do you really want someone to be your ‘soul mate’ who would just strip down in front of anyone? And it was totally un-cool of you to rag on Beverly because she didn’t want to dance like a whore! She has kids dude, she doesn’t want to embarrass them plus that isn’t the type of girl she is. From everything you say Beverly is the perfect girl for you this season. She is smart, pretty, she is into your music, she is athletic, and everything you claim to look for in a mate. The only thing is those type of girls are consistently the girls you get rid of, just to keep the T&A around. I will give you that Beverly isn’t all T&A and she may not be the ‘hottest’ girl there, but she is more of what you say you want than any other girl there. And what did you do to her in week 3? You had her as the final 2 with the crazy porno clepto chick! At least Beverly isn’t an idiot like 95% of the girls there. I’m sure Ashley couldn’t carry on a decent conversation for more than 3 minutes. I appreciate the fact you want a hot chick. And I’m not denying chemistry in the bedroom isn’t important. But Brett, please remember what makes a relationship last…personality. Looks fade, but stupidity is forever. So Brett I beg you keep Beverly around and give her a real chance. After all we all know what you are really looking for and that is a Pittsburgh girl, you’ve been spoiled. And after all we all know that Pittsburgh girls are 100% real. We don’t need to get our breasts pumped up to size triple G, because if we did, we couldn’t fit in our Steelers’ jersey. So Brett good luck in finding love on a Bus, but when you don’t, I’ll be watching season 4…Rock of Love Pittsburgh where you will find your real soul mate.




  1. I have found myself tuning in to watch this train wreck of a television show and I could not agree with you more. Aging rocker looking for "love" and plenty of "enhanced" women, or as I like to call it - an exercise in futility.

  2. I am pretending I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, but, yeah. You are SOOO right. *ahem*

  3. Now I know why I stay away from Reality TV... A note to my sister... please don't let the baby watch this stuff. :-)

  4. I hear congrats are in order . . . so congrats! Can't wait to see a photo or two!